Cold or Human
The end of my ED shift. It was a long, exhausting, but
fulfilling day. I had some of my meal money left. I walked to the café,
wondering what I would get. As was typical of the past few days, I liked
nothing I saw, so I picked some odd cereal bars, a few bananas and a diet
soda. Home was just 5 minutes away, a
short cold walk.
As I approached the staircase leading to the apartment
building, I noticed a young black man, probably late 20's to early 30's with a
little boy, probably 10 years old walking towards me. Just before I could enter
the building, the man shouted out to me to give him something to eat, saying he
was from a homeless shelter and he was hungry. I quickened my pace and got into
building before he could come any closer.
As soon as I stepped in the building, I felt a wave of
remorse. Why did I react like that to a simple plea for help? Have I such
little trust in my fellow humans. Why was I scared of this man, who was
seemingly harmless? Who knows, maybe he had a weapon concealed (this was my
sick mind justifying my action) but he was with a little boy….You really can’t
trust people these days (my sick mind again).
He could have robbed me…of what? My ID card? Keys to my
apartment? The few cereal bars I did not really want? Maybe I should have
stopped for a few seconds…but it was dark.
I have gone back and forth in my mind, debating with myself,
wondering if my reaction was normal or if I had been a bit paranoid. That said,
if I had the opportunity, would I stop by that time of the day? I wish I could
say yes, but I honestly don’t know and this saddens me…
